...I'm really not ok at the moment.
Apparently my brain/heart decided this was a great weekend to decide it was overloaded on all the stress, anxiety, and countless insecurities I've been dealing with for so long.
I'm usually really great and dealing with my own stuff, plus helping everyone around me.
It's too much right now. I can't do it anymore.
It would be nice to have someone I could put stuff on for once, since I spend so much time helping everyone else through their problems...
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Camaraderie
It's interesting how life is always a surprise. The people I meet who are actually worth knowing are very rarely the ones whom I think that would be the case for when I first meet them. It always sneaks up on me, and then suddenly I'll realize one day that they are enormous pieces of my life and that I learn so much from them. On the other hand, the people who I meet and assume would be worth knowing and worth trusting, are usually the ones who are pros at letting me down, at abandoning friendships when they are needed most. Happens to me so frequently.
The one thing it has taught me is to definitely not just assume anything when first meeting someone.
The one thing it has taught me is to definitely not just assume anything when first meeting someone.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
GODS by Vladimir Nabokov
I love this:
"Listen--I want to run all my life, screaming at the top of
my lungs. Let all of life be an unfettered howl. Like the crowd greeting the gladiator. Don't stop to think, don't interrupt the scream, exhale, release life's rapture. Everything is blooming. Everything is flying. Everything is screaming, choking on its screams. Laughter. Running. Let-down hair. That is all there is to life."
The full story is here, if you are curious.
"Listen--I want to run all my life, screaming at the top of
my lungs. Let all of life be an unfettered howl. Like the crowd greeting the gladiator. Don't stop to think, don't interrupt the scream, exhale, release life's rapture. Everything is blooming. Everything is flying. Everything is screaming, choking on its screams. Laughter. Running. Let-down hair. That is all there is to life."
The full story is here, if you are curious.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
...
Ouch...
Memories are lame sometimes.
All week I've been dealing with crazy memories. A lot of them were perfect moments when they happened, but things have changed so they don't really exist anymore. Just the memories.
Moving forward is important.
It's tricky, and kind of terrifying at times, but I just have to keep reminding myself that keeping up the forward motion is necessary...that I should have no regrets...that things are how they are for a reason.
Like I said, it's tricky.
And I would go back there if I could. It wouldn't be the same. The people I met wouldn't be the same, I wouldn't be the same, the experience would be completely different. Everyone and everything involved has grown and changed and become new. But I'd still go back.
This is vague. But I don't need details. I just needed to get it out.
Memories are lame sometimes.
All week I've been dealing with crazy memories. A lot of them were perfect moments when they happened, but things have changed so they don't really exist anymore. Just the memories.
Moving forward is important.
It's tricky, and kind of terrifying at times, but I just have to keep reminding myself that keeping up the forward motion is necessary...that I should have no regrets...that things are how they are for a reason.
Like I said, it's tricky.
And I would go back there if I could. It wouldn't be the same. The people I met wouldn't be the same, I wouldn't be the same, the experience would be completely different. Everyone and everything involved has grown and changed and become new. But I'd still go back.
This is vague. But I don't need details. I just needed to get it out.
Monday, December 13, 2010
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