Static

After living somewhere else, to come back here is depressing. I am thrilled to see my family and friends. I am happy to have some time to relax, to ignore the day-to-day madness for a while.

But nothing ever changes. Not in a comforting, feeling-of-home sort of way-- I love that things never change in that sense. I mean in the maddeningly oppressive sense.

Photo from Super Scholar

Norfolk has always been that way.

whirlwind

Life is such a crazy blur right now.
Wedding planning has begun. Apartment hunting has begun, and we found a place we want to move into. Some friends in San Diego threw us bachelor and bachelorette parties once we got back in town. My guy gets to start looking at orders next month to choose where he wants to be next August..Christmas is around the corner. It seems like everything is rushing up.

I'm actually really glad that I'm doing the whole housewife-thing right now (well, and working on photos) because I don't see any way that we'd be able to get ready to move by December 1 otherwise, or to have things unpacked before Christmas. haha

well then

This is what's been going on in my life. How about yours?

Enough

We spend our entire lives being told we're "too this" or "too that" or that we will never be "whatever enough."

Photo from here

 

Clarity

This week has been a struggle.
I haven't had one like it in quite a while. Every day, it seems, has been a sharp reminder of the choices I have made...

If, in this circumstance, I had done that instead, this is how things would be.

I know that in some ways we obviously can't know all the alternate paths things could take...but this week, I am certain that I have seen how it would have gone two years ago. If things were different. I can't go back and live it, but I can see it very clearly. The exact path things would have taken.

Or really, not even two years ago. I can see how things would have gone if they had changed many times in the past year as well.

None of it matters now. Every day, the future gets more set in stone and there's less of a chance of any of that coming true.

I've cried over it many days and nights.

But you know what? There are so many different paths that can be taken. I'm on this one, and it's going to end up being the right one for me.



I just wish that I wouldn't get these random bursts of clarity and windows into how things would be if I had followed all of the other options.

The Parts That Remain

“We age not by holding on to youth, but by letting ourselves grow and embracing whatever youthful parts remain.” 

 -Keith Richards

Simplify

“The only dream worth having is to dream that you will live while you are alive, and die only when you are dead. To love, to be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and vulgar disparity of the life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget.”

-  Arundhati Roy

The Road Ahead

Photo credit: LunaDawnImages

Sometimes the road of life stretches before us, way farther than we can see, and it gets terrifying. It's really important to take everything one step at a time. If you don't, it is easy to get overwhelmed with "what if"s and silly little worries. In the past few years, I've witnessed this time and again--not just in my own life, but in the lives of my friends as well. The moment you allow yourself to get caught up in silly little worries, it becomes extremely difficult to break free and to enjoy the magic of each day. 

That's the beauty of life: the adventure. We need to remember to not take things too seriously... sit back, surround yourself with creative and inspirational people, and enjoy the ride.

In this Life...

Create something to last beyond you. Plant a tree and nourish it and watch it grow. Write a piece and have it published. Build something enduring.

reckless chase

At some point everyone has to stop chasing sluts and whores and fantasies and simply find satisfaction.


You can spend your whole life abandoning happiness for "what if"s and the question of "will that person be better? " ...you can spend your whole life trading out one person you find attractive for another.

Or you can seek out someone who accepts you, who knows you, who loves you at your best or worst or most vulnerable or most strange. Someone you can be yourself around and not get tired of. Someone you can share every bit of yourself with and who will still accept you--mistakes and all.

So many people never seem to learn that.

Cell

"This third planet in this solar system of this universe has hot regions where more tears than rain fall, and I am sorry. Sorry about all the tears I have caused to fall. Sorry that words cannot always explain. Not even when one uses one's hands to explain...

ТЮРЬМА

Не могу выезжать. жизнь – не моя. моя жизнь прекрасна и свободный. Я авантюристa. Мне нужны новое зрелище...новые страны, новие люди. каждое мгновение должно быть захватывающим.

я скучаю университета.   Путешествия. Удовлетворение.

Мне 21 лет. это моя время.