Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Months Pass Just Like Seconds...

I always wanted a happy ending... Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity. -Gilda Radner

The passing of time is such a crazy thing. Some days the minutes CRAWL along, and it seems as though you will never make it to closing time (or to when your date is scheduled, or dinner, or a vacation)...but other days, every time you glance at the clock it seems as though another hour has flown by and is gone forever.

It is so weird to think that it has been basically two months since my guy went to San Diego. The past 8 weeks or so have felt so slow for many individual moments, but now looking back at them it seems like they almost went too fast. I'm sure that there was more I could have experienced in the past two months than I did. I've been busy with work, with sorting things out around here, with so many other things...but at the same time, I haven't had as much time to interact with old friends as I would have liked. 

In a way, I feel like that about the entire past year. For nearly the entire past year, I've constantly been looking forward to something. That doesn't sound horrible, I know. It sounds awesome. Everyone needs something to look forward to, right? This would be true except that if you're constantly waiting for something exciting to happen (or lots of little things over the course of a year, in my case), you're also going to be constantly wishing away the moments in between. If you are traveling every two months or so, that weekend/week/two weeks every few months are going to be your focal point--the rest of the time between those will simply blur and speed past, and be lost forever. That's what I'm dealing with at the moment. I realized a few days ago that I simply can not believe that Oct 2009 was an entire year ago, and even though I've lived through every single minute--every single SECOND--of it, my year has been dizzyingly busy, so it is really hard to accept that an entire year has gone by. 

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