Monday, January 30, 2012


At the end of the week I leave to visit San Diego for a few weeks. I should have plenty of wonderful new adventures to discuss by the time I get back. I may try to post a few times while I'm there to share photos or something, but I already know I will be busy almost constantly.

Just wanted to give everyone a heads up.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012


“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.” 

- George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Orphan Train

I just found out that these existed... how fascinating and heartbreaking! Does anyone else know more about the orphan trains, or even better, have ancestors who were part of this?

Here is a link with more info:  The Orphan Train Depot . Com

photo from

If you happen to know more about the history of this, feel free to throw information my way!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Sound of the Sea

May I see the things in front of me as they are, not as I think them to be.

May I walk the steps ahead of me one at a time, not wondering if there's a map.

May I say the things that fix things, not break them further apart.

May I do what I need to do, not be distracted by what I can't.

May I dream of what I hope for, not of what I fear.

May I love you like I love you, not as any other, me.

[re-blogged from: I Wrote This For You]

a steady hand

“I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.”
-Shana Abé

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Life Lessons, #4029

I forget this one often, but it is very true.

Making other people happy is a great path to cheering yourself up.

I'm going to spend the afternoon with my little cousins. I don't get to see them often enough, and [for some unknown reason] they adore me. 

Friday, January 20, 2012

Split emotions

It's a shame that something I have been looking forward to for so long is being tinged with anxiety and fear about what else will come to pass during that same time. I've been counting down, and so excited, but if things can not be fixed then it's going to be two small happy moments surrounded by a lot of pain and heartbreak.

Oh well, here's hoping for the best. I'm giving this all I have. There's no way I'm going to let myself have the chance to look back later and say "oh, well I wish I had tried harder." I'm not giving myself a chance for regrets. This has been all I've wanted for too long. I'll fight for it.

And I'm seeing In Flames in 18 days, and Eluveitie in 25 days.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The Language of Stars


To discover there's at least one other real person on planet Earth.


To discover that the aliens, can look just like you.

[re-blogged from I Wrote This For You]


I will be participating in the internet blackout tomorrow, January 18, along with many other websites. Check out SOPA STRIKE. COM for more information.

If you do not know anything about the Stop Online Piracy Act or the Protect IP Act, make sure to inform yourself. The passing of these will affect everyone who uses the internet

Sunday, January 15, 2012

you know,

I think we really were made for each other, you and I...and if there were a way to make things better, I would in an instant.
Remember this post about dreams? I had that dream again, but with so many more details this time. I ran because there were all sorts of bombings. I got scared, and decided I couldn't stay here. So I drove down to South America, then hopped onto a plane.

The only scary thing about all of these, is how realistic they are. How vivid and realistic it seems while I'm dreaming, sure, but also once I wake up and realize that these circumstances could definitely happen. Not necessarily with me fleeing the country, but all the circumstances that lead up to it each time in my dream could definitely occur...and relatively soon.

What puzzles me though, is that I'm always alone. I'm not sure if dream-me doesn't tell anyone she's leaving, or if everyone just tells dream-me that I'm stupid and that they are all staying here. For some reason, I feel as though it is likely the former...

Oh well, since these keep occurring relatively frequently, maybe next time around I'll manage to take a bunch of friends and family members along.

Saturday, January 14, 2012


Some days, I wake to find I can still hear you whispering softly in my ear...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012


We waste so much time. Every week, millions of people--probably you included, definitely me--try to rush through their work days and make time go faster, and then try to hold on to each of the moments they have at home in the evening and slow time down. Weekends disappear under the weight of all we schedule, and suddenly it's Monday morning again. Repeat.

This happens each week, and months roll by before we realize what has happened. Then years.

We waste so much of our lives trying to get past the routine parts to the good stuff. The time with friends. The time with family. What should matter, but that we don't prioritize enough.

I hate that money matters so much in this world, and that everyone has to put a job first, rather than the people in their lives. We're each rushing toward old age, trying to make ends meet, and ignoring those around us.

I just wish I could change that, sometimes. It all passes by too quickly, and I know it's going to be completely gone in the blink of an eye.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

January Calm

The challenge I'm giving myself this week is to find peace and contentment. I'm going to make an effort to give myself a little bit of time every day to not worry about anything, to just relax and enjoy the nothingness.

Most other people can probably benefit from this as well, especially after all the rush and bustle of the holidays from Thanksgiving to New Years. All of the company has finally stopped trickling through our house, so my mom and I have spent the past few days rearranging the house back to something resembling how it looked two months ago. Now that that's finished, I think we've deserved to set aside some time for ourselves to simply kick back.

She's spending the next few days reading Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close  by Jonathan Safran Foer. I haven't decided yet if I'll spend my free time reading, or writing, or simply thinking.

But I would like to challenge anyone who reads this, to do the same. This coming week, spend some time for yourself. On yourself. Alone. Seek out solitude and enjoy the calm. You should reemerge feeling very refreshed.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

mi amor

Thank you. For trying. For putting out effort. For talking and actually communicating. For giving a sign.
Things had almost spiraled too far. That conversation the first week? That needed to happen more than you can know. I know you realize we got close, and honestly it's comforting to know that scared you too.
We've made it this far. We've made it this long. Years and years are ahead. This won't be the end.
Hang in there with me.

Я тебя люблю.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Resolutions, pt 1

I know most people are not like me. For many, the first of the year marks a great time to begin on goals. I understand the logic behind that, I really do. It’s just not my thing. If I’m going to make a change, I’m not going to put it off until January 1.

However, for those who actually do make resolutions, I thought I would provide some ideas. Here’s the first one.

“I’m Going To Make The World A Better Place/Help People” 

Great! This is the kind of resolution I really admire, as long as you can follow through with it. I realize this can go a few different directions. Here are ideas for two major ones behind the cut.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012


It's a new year.. I hate to be the kind of person to do one of those ultra predictable posts ..."2011 was so horrible and rough but this new year is going to be awesome and all my dreams are magically going to come true"

And I don't make resolutions. Ever. Why wait for a new year to start improving your life? Especially when people make the same resolution every year... And consistently fail at it!

How about just for once no one does that? Instead let's just all live how we should be anyway. Love others. Work toward your goals. Learn something small every day. Volunteer some of your time or money to improve the world around you.

And, just as importantly, remember to show appreciation. Things are never as awful as you think they are. Be thankful for people around you. Be grateful for your circumstances, no matter how seemingly difficult.