Quattro Anni

The past few years so much has been going on. So many things have changed. Constantly.

Today is Oct 30th...Devil's Night. 2011.

Thinking back a year ago, 2010, things were different. I was first starting to get to know the people I spent most of my time with now. I was becoming more brave, less shy, more confident.

Two years ago, I was someone else's girl. Year 2009. Doing other things. With other people. Studying at school still.

Three years ago, 2008, today was the first day of getting involved in the local goth/industrial scene. First taste, to be quickly followed by more as the year progressed.

Four years ago. 2007. Senior year of high school. Halloween parties, etc. I don't see or even speak to any of those people anymore. They're all different. I am different. Nothing is the same from 2007 to now.

Let's see what the next 365 days bring, shall we?

Jarring

I meant to post this last Thursday when it happened, but I forgot by the time I got home from work.

An old man who had to carry a bottle of oxygen around with him to breathe came into my store on Thursday. He had ordered parts from our parts counter in the back of the store, and they had come in but were not quite right so they needed to be fixed. We were going to replace them and call him back to pick them up on Friday. As he and I were walking back up to the front of the store after resolving the issue, I apologized to the man for the inconvenience and told him I would call him as soon as his new parts were ready.

He looked at me, still wheezing through his oxygen tubes, and told me very seriously "I'm 80 years old, and I have all the time in the world. There's no rush."

It put me in my place very quickly. He's 80. He can't even breathe on his own anymore; he has trouble walking; he likely has difficulties taking care of himself on a daily basis. And here he was, telling me that there's no rush.

If anyone should be in a rush, it should be that man. I know if I were him, I'd most likely be thinking that my time is short and I might as well do everything I can, all the time.

But if this man doesn't feel the need to rush, and can just enjoy every moment no matter what comes... why can't I?

So that's my challenge for this week. Enjoy everything. Don't get upset over little things. There's plenty of time.

para ti...

You all should know by now that every few months I do a message out to people. Vague. No names attached. Just a bunch of snippets to people, to get things out. This is one of those times.


-You're very intense, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it at first. I'm quickly growing to love you, and to cherish the friendship that is growing.
-I'd drop all of this and leave it behind in a moment. I wasn't ready before.
-That conversation the other night was so encouraging. Thank you.
-You think you can suddenly pop up the moment you think you can control me, and that I will fall right in to it. Don't you think you're exactly the type of person I'm planning to get away from?
-That day hurt. It surprised me...It still surprises me. But I guess it makes sense, considering what you were.
-Most days I can't even remember how it feels.
-You encourage me to be better than I am, and I don't think you realize it even a little bit. I wish we had met when there was more time.
-I wish everyone could see you the way you really are. It's wonderful.
-You're the best person I know. I'm honoured to be this close to you, and it's wonderful to see you a few times each month. I hope to be just like you when I'm older.
-I'm glad we're out of each other's lives. I realized tonight how much we've both changed. We wouldn't even recognize each other anymore.
-I don't know if I feel comfortable with you now.

Busybusybusy

This weekend isn't taking shape quite the way I would like it to. I've been fighting getting sick successfully for a while, but I think it finally has defeated me. My throat has been killing me the past three days, and I just feel all-around gross.

It's causing a few problems for my normal weekend schedule. I couldn't go out to Occupy Norfolk yesterday anyway because I had family stuff to do, but if I had been free I don't think I would have felt well enough to march two and a half miles while screaming chants. If my throat ALREADY hurts, I can't imagine what that would do to it.

Anyway, once the family commitments were over around 8, I went to my best friend's house for a movie night last night. I love nights like that. We don't get them very often anymore because of crazy schedules, and juggling too many different activities at a time.

All I want to do with my day is sit at home for once, and relax, and play sims 3 or watch movies or something.

But I'll probably end up out doing stuff all day. As usual.

canvas

Never forget, my loves. The entire world is your studio. Rewrite the script; fill the page. Play the tune however you want. This is your world and your chance to shape it.

Sunday

It's Sunday. I'm about to head to downtown Norfolk...helping with camp security from 6-9am. After that, though, I'm using today to learn stuff.

I know I've asked this before, but everyone give me something to learn about!

:/

The months are passing just like seconds,
ticking away.

And I'm still here. Still. HERE.

And the horrible part is, I'm caring less and less about getting there.
I still want out, don't get me wrong.

But what's the point in going there?
Will it even be worth it?

not to be dramatic

But when I think of you, I can't breathe.

Unrelated, and more personal

I couldn't include this with the other post because it is far off topic. But on a more personal level, here is what has been going on recently.

This Is What Democracy Looks Like ...

Sorry it’s been a bit quiet on my side of the internet recently. I’ve been busy with stuff around here. Between work, family obligations, and my normal two nights out for clubbing and open mic night, I’m usually busy but still have enough time for other things. Last week my schedule for work suddenly was switched, however, and I’ve also been spending most of my extra time downtown for Occupy Norfolk.

Details under the cut...